Adapting to Spanish.
Making new friends.
Not living in the city anymore.
Etc.
My changes/problems seem endless when I think about them but I don't seem to notice them when I live each day without thinking about them. It's like looking back and saying "when the hell did that happen??"
Going out.
Loving the friends I made.
Though my "good things" list doesn't really expand beyond that, the few things I have gotten to do here, I wouldn't trade for anything.
Though it's been two years almost, I feel homesick often. Like I have mentioned before, no not because of the place but the people! Here, everyone is great, but they are not the friends that I've had practically all my life.
Anyways, I have a close friend here, and I also met a guy...
DUN DUN DUN
Sarah met a guy? Is that even possible?
Apparently so, guys ;D
I was at my friends birthday party at the beginning of March and her cousin came with his girlfriend. They introduced us and that's it. I'm not one to look at another girl's man no matter what.
We didn't talk much at the party, but the next day my friend invited me over to her house to spend the day. It was Sunday, and usually on those days I go and spend the day there. I was surprised to see that her cousin had spent the night, but stayed aloof since he was not available. We shared lunch together and then just chilled in the living room all day watching him rap, and looking at pictures, etc. I left at night, said my goodbyes and went home. The next day, I texted her saying I was going to go over again today since we had the week off from school. Again there he was, that's when I figured out he was going to stay the entire week. I was cool with that. We actually got along very well, we were like life time friends.
By the time Tuesday night arrived, I got home and went on Facebook only to find a message from my friend. She asked me if I wanted to go out with them to Montevideo for the day. I wanted to, of course, but I doubt my mother would let me. That same night, I was chatting with my friend and she sent me a message telling me that her cousin wanted my number, so I told her it was fine for her to give it to him. It was three minutes later that I received a message from him, telling me that he wanted me to go and that he would not enjoy himself as much without me there.
I stared at my phone dumbfounded and blushed. I was so in over my head, thinking way ahead and out of my league. I replied saying I'd try my best to convince my mother and considered the message "friendly".
Finally, my mother came around and let me go to Montevideo. I was walking towards the bus stop when I saw him and my heart did this little flip inside me. I cursed myself, wanting not to feel this way, as if I was in some kind of novel, haha.
On the bus ride home, after a long day, him and I sat together. He had told me before, while we were alone that he saw I was upset at something. I was amazed that with such ease he could see through my facade. I told him that I had some stuff in my mind but that I was okay. In the bus he insisted on me sitting with him to talk. I'm not one to open up to anybody about really serious stuff but everything just flowed out of me that day. I told him about my mom's negligence, how she didn't want to get tested for colon cancer even though she showed symptoms. Then one thing let to another and we ended up talking about our family issues and about my trip and his rapping. It was a heart-to-heart totally unexpected which made it that much special.
Once we climbed off the bus, I gave him a giant hug, glad he returned it and we said our goodbyes ; knowing I would see him the next day. I reached my house, less than ten minutes later and checked my phone and saw I had a message from him asking me how I got home. I blushed, happy that he cared, but knew that it was strictly platonic.
We texted each other non-stop 'till one of us crashed. The next day he texted me telling me that he wanted to see me, and that he needed it. When I went over, my friend told me that his girl friend came by and snatched him away for the day. Of course no one knew and couldn't suspect that I was feeling anything more than a bond to him, so I laughed it off and left sooner than I normally do. That night he messaged me on Facebook, talking to me about how him and his girl got into a fight and that it's over between them. My selfish little inner me screamed "booya!" but I messaged him showing nothing but remorse for him. He told me not to sweat it and that he was upset he didn't get to see me.
I told him that tomorrow would be a new day and he said that it was also his last day here before he went back to his town, an hour away...
I told him I needed to tell him something and he said he had something to tell me too but that I had to tell him first so I said no, and the argument went on playfully that way all up until the second before he got on his bus home. We were at the bus stop waiting and he was begging me to tell him but I couldn't! The embarrassment won over me and it kept my words from spewing out. BIG MISTAKE. He told me that until I told him he wouldn't say anything, and with that his bus came. When it did, he gave me a giant kiss on the cheek and went to the bus but not before he took my sweater with him. I pretended to be mad, but God knows I was anything but. About two minutes later, I got a text from him telling me to tell him, and so I did. I wrote down how much I like him, and that I was sorry for being a coward and not saying to his face, that's when he replied saying that he couldn't believe that and he was going to ask me if there was a chance we could be more than friends...at that moment, everything wasn't just black and white anymore it was like a rainbow, and I was happy again. Since then I truly realized why people say to take a chance on something even if you feel like it would totally crash and burn at your feet. In cases like these it's worth it and now I will forever regret not taking advantage of the opportunity when I had him here with me. Don't make that mistake ever! Even if things don't turn out the way you hoped, you can never rue doing what you did, it's all for the best.
The next few days were blissful talking to him, knowing he felt the same way for me was refreshing and even though it was all hearts and glitters.
Not everything that glitters is gold.
I knew, I would never be able to have a relationship with him without pissing a lot of people off, and that's where I am now. I'm stumped between my happiness and other's. Another problem is we haven't seen each other since he left and I'm not sure where we stand. What I do see occasionally is pictures that he gets tagged in, on Facebook and he's always with my sweater on, though it makes me happy it also gets me more confused...
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