There's a such thing as heart break when you're five?

For me, heart break and love have been a part of my life since I was a fetus, I think.

I like to see myself as a BIT of a romantic.
Correction : a LOT of a romantic.
I breathe and eat romanticism.
Though, it doesn't seem to be on my side, like...ever.

We'll get to 'how romance fucked me over' later in my story. Right now, let's focus on age five.

His name was Oscar. A pretty generic name for a little Cuban boy if you ask me, but hey, I didn't like him for his name. Now that I think about it...why did I like him?
He was too short for me, had a mole on the upper left side of his jaw region, and honey colored eyes.
I remember his voice as raspy, like a guy who had been smoking his whole life. He was unusual, unlike the other toddlers who were running around in our classroom.
Of course, unusual didn't necessarily mean uncool.
It just meant different, which everyone seemed to like.

Have you ever heard that phrase that goes something like this : some people are born with the spotlight shining on them...?

Well, that was Oscar  He and his best friend John were the cutest in the class. And by cute I mean, cute enough to stop playing with our toys long enough to take a good look at them and hope that they said good-bye to us when their parents came to pick them up or shared a piece of their cookie during lunch. 

It's pretty safe to say that I never got either...not even a glance in my direction. My best friend and I, at the moment, weren't exactly the "beez neez". More like the opposite of it, "mosquito feet" or something along those lines.
Point is!
-We dressed in overalls that had mickey all over them.
-We had full, chubby red cheeks.
-We were both the two biggest girls in the class.
Just imagine an apple dressed up, and you would get the idea of how we looked.

You may ask yourself...why would Sarah have cared about those things when she was that age?
I just did. Even now I look back at so many things and wonder, what the hell was wrong with me?
Then, I remembered that it's just who I am.

After I gave up on Oscar, I left the world of boys, and entered a completely different one.

(Oh, how I wish I didn't!)

This is the one that I had been stuck in all my life.